


Naivety and Stupidity

by ChangeTheCircumstances



Series: Moving Forwards [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Finn is confused, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Poe's a dork, Post-Movie, Shenanigans, major spoilers for the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-08 03:00:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5480801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChangeTheCircumstances/pseuds/ChangeTheCircumstances
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once Finn comes to, he's thrust into life with the Resistance. While he figures out exactly what he wants to do, he latches on to the only other person he knows with Rey gone, Poe Dameron.</p><p>Being the first friend he's ever had, Finn is overjoyed at having the man around but there are a few things that confuse him.</p><p>And it doesn't help that everyone else seems to know what exactly is going on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Again, major spoilers if you haven't seen the movie.
> 
> I expect this story will be fairly short, probably not more than ten chapters but you never know.
> 
> Please enjoy and thanks for reading.

Finn’s first thought was about Han Solo and the help—

No. Never mind. He was gone. There wasn’t any help for him. But what about…

Rey! Was she alright? Finn would have jumped from where he lay to go look for her and only refrained from the action because of the pain searing through him and the inability to move.

But he was somewhat conscious. That was good. Hopefully moving would come next.

To calm any and all worry, Finn, tried to rationalize the situation. He wasn’t dead. Death didn’t hurt this damn much. He was pretty sure of that. And he wasn’t still on the planet weapon because he’d be dead in that case too. He doubted Kylo Ren would have spared him and if he was in the hands of the First Order they’d probably force him awake instead of allowing him to lay there.

So he was back with the Resistance. Alright, that made sense.

And Rey, she was probably alive. Worry of course would remain until he knew for sure but it was doubtful someone would have just found him on that planet without a beacon or someone else calling for help. So Rey had likely won or at least succeeded in a stalemate with Kylo Ren and they had both ended up with the Resistance.

That was good. Alright. So did that mean they had won?

Wait! That wasn’t even the most important question! If he was with the Resistance then of course they had won. The real question was who else had died in the battle. Was Poe still alive? Had he succeeded in his mission or had he fallen to the First Order?

At least with Rey he could rationalize that she was alive and Solo…he was gone. There was no coming back from that. And Chewbacca was probably alright too. If he and Rey were out then Chewbacca definitely had time to get out as well. But Poe, no matter how good of a pilot he was the First Order…

The First Order honestly could have killed him.

Just thinking about this was straining Finn’s mind and filling him with anxiety. His body countered it by pulling him back into darkness and the next time Finn came to, he could finally move some.

Slowly becoming more aware of his surroundings, Finn noted that he was lying on his stomach. Made sense and Finn tried to move…something slowly. First he twitched his fingers a bit and then let out a hoarse groan as he attempted to open his eyes. It mostly worked and his ears zeroed in on certain noises around him.

People were coming and going but it wasn’t busy. Someone near him had rushed off but was now coming back. It took some time for Finn to focus in on the words and he finally caught on at “…almost didn’t make it. But you did and you’ll heal. It will just take a while. We don’t have a room for you to stay in, if you even decide to stay with us, but for now you’ll have to get use to the medbay and—”

“Is Rey—”

“She’s fine. She’s on her mission to find Luke Skywalker. They figured out the map.”

“She did?” Finn asked straining his head to look at the nurse. He blinked to clear his eyes a bit more and asked, “So she is safe? Do you know when she’ll be back?”

“Yes and no. She sent a transmission once she entered the System where Skywalker supposedly is. A number of issues could complicate the mission however. It’s impossible to say.”

Finn sighed but it was mostly a happy one. She was safe at least. Now just to double check… “Chewbacca, is he—”

“Fine-well as fine as he can possibly be. He joined Rey on her mission,” the nurse sighed. “He’s also the one who managed to get you both off that planet in time.”

Ok, now there was just one thing he needed to ask and he dreaded it. “I’m guessing we won the fight too but what happened—”

“Hey buddy! Heard you were awake so—”

“Poe Dameron I am in the middle of a medical examination,” the nurse growled out. He blocked Poe’s way into the room with arms crossed.

“But it’s my break time and—”

“Don’t even try to pull the ‘best pilot’ line on me.”

“Actually I was going to remind you I helped take down the Starkiller.”

Though Finn couldn’t see either man’s face from this angle, he imagined that the prolonged pause was from the nurse giving Poe a stern look. Fin was surprised when Poe actually didn’t continue to argue with the man and simply said, “Fine, I’ll come back later. Just let me drop this off.”

Finn imagined the nurse rolling his eyes as he heard something drop into a chair out of his line of sight. Then, “See you later buddy,” and he was alone with the nurse again.

Finn caught the nurse grumbling about Poe being to obvious or something but he missed most of the words. Instead the nurse made some calibrations and then focused back on him. “If you don’t have any more questions I’ll start the medical examinations. Do you have any more questions?”

“Um, about how long will I be stuck here?”

“Like I said, it’s difficult to tell depending on where you end up rooming. But you’ll need to remain on your stomach for another day or two before even attempting to sit up,” he said.

Finn sighed. “Alright. I suppose that’s it. Let’s get on with the exam then.”

“Sounds good to me. Afterwards General Leia would like a word with you,” the nurse added. “Then I would suggest you get some rest but I’m assuming you’ll be bombarded by a certain pilot later on. Now, I’m just going to…”

After suffering through the medical examination, the nurse got him some water and food. Afterwards General Leia came and told him mostly the same news along with commemorating him for what he did and standing up to Kylo Ren. She also mentioned the possibilities he had with the Resistance if he chose to stay and the choices he had in how he could help.

Finn gave her his condolences about Solo. He didn’t know General Organa and he couldn’t tell if she was hurting or not. But even strong people hurt and Finn honestly couldn’t imagine a worse situation to be in. He knew the words didn’t really change anything but he at least thought he saw appreciation in the General’s eyes.

After she left, he then had approximately four seconds of rest and solitude before someone with a very peppy run was heard coming in. A chair was dragged across the floor and a smiling face came into view as the X-wing pilot plopped down.

“I’d go for the hug again but figured your back wouldn’t appreciate it,” Poe said.

“Uh, yeah. My back thanks you for that.”

Poe chuckled, though for a moment he seemed ironically depressively happy. That look disappeared though before Finn could comment on that. Instead, Poe looked chipper as ever and pulled into view his old jacket. “I dropped it off earlier but I figured you hadn’t seen it. Should probably wait until your back gets better to wear it but I wanted to show you I fixed it.”

“Fixed…?” Finn looked at the stitching and patching that had been done along the back where the lightsaber had sliced through. “You sewed it up? For me?”

“Yeah, I mean…hell it’s been through a lot but for all I knew it might have gained some sentimental value to you. I can get you a new one. Or even a better one. Yeah it was probably kind of stupid of an idea and shouldn’t have done it but I did do it so you can do what you want with it if you want it and—”

“Thanks Poe. It means a lot,” Finn said, interrupting the man’s rambling.

“Really? I mean awesome! Glad it does. The rip will only make you look more badass anyways. So, I’m guessing you got the run down from everyone?”

“Yeah, I think.”

“So do you know who you’ll be bunking with?”

“Uh, I don’t know if I’ll even stay here,” Finn admitted.

“But you did such an amazing job! You stood up to Ren even!”

“Yeah but the Starkiller is gone and that’s the main reason I was any help. It all came from what I knew. The rest of my knowledge is more general and just the training areas.” Finn responded.

“But what you think is general may not be. And you helped so many people. You’re a hero!”

“Yeah but you and your guys were the ones that blew it up.”

Poe shook his head. “Yeah but that would have been impossible without you. Besides, everyone else wants you to stay.”

Finn had the suspicious feeling that ‘everyone’ meant something else but he kept that to himself and replied, “But I’m not that great of a warrior. I’m not a leader either.”

“So? You’re kind. Besides, you said it yourself. You saved me because it was the right thing to do. You’re the kind of people that the Resistance needs.”

Finn focused on the word ‘saved’. He hadn’t actually thought about that. He’d just helped Poe. He hadn’t actually saved him. Had he? “It was my arguing that nearly got us both killed.”

Poe shrugged. “Well I argued to so if it’s your fault it’s mine as well. And I wouldn’t have the chance to crash if you hadn’t saved me.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Finn sighed as he gave a slight shake of his head. “But I still don’t know what I could do for the Resistance.”

“Honestly anything. Having another body helping with whatever would be fantastic. Though I have to say you’re pretty good under pressure and a great shot. You could be an X-wing pilot!”

“Wait, seriously?” Finn propped his head up a bit. He winced at the slight bit of movement but focused in on Poe.

“Yep. We always need more X-wing pilots. Then I’d have an even better reason to convince General Organa that you should bunk with me, buddy.”

Finn’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait what?”

“Well if you do stick around you’ll probably end up bunking with someone and I…well I have an empty bunk.”

Finn didn’t know how but Poe had kept the smile on his face. Whoever his roommate had been must have been a friend. Or at least a close acquaintance. Though then again, Poe had probably lost people before being part of the Resistance. Still it was strength that Finn wasn’t use to and he admired seeing it in Poe.

“Of course if you don’t want to be in a bunk with me there are plenty of other people you—

”No if you have the room then I don’t mind.” Finn gave an encouraging smile as if to prove he truly meant it.

The simple line seemed to brighten up Poe even more so than Finn had expected and he added, “Does that mean you’re staying!”

Taken aback, Finn realized the implications of what he had said. He almost replied no or even maybe but just barely managed to stop himself. He had been terrified leaving the First Order. Terrified when he was on Jakku looking for BB-8. He had been terrified running from those things in the freighter. And he had been terrified on the Starkiller, seeing Kylo Ren cutting down his own father and then coming after him.

But there had been a clear difference in that final point. The fear had been worth it. Even when he had thought himself dead it had been worth it. And would Rey run from this chance? Well, he honestly didn’t know. He’d only met her recently. But Finn didn’t believe she would. And he sure as hell knew Poe wouldn’t. How horrid would that be? Running from the man that had given him a name?

“Yes,” Finn said. “I’m staying.”

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

“Ow!”

“Sorry! Forgot about the back!” Poe cried out as he moved away from his rushed hug. “I’ll be more careful next time.”

With a painful smile, Finn replied, “And I’ll make sure I’m prepared for the next hug.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Poe grinned.


	2. Chapter 2

The first chance Finn got to stand up and walk around was painful as hell but it still felt good to move. There was a ways to go with the healing but as long as he was careful he would be fine. Technically he still could stay in the infirmary for a while but if Poe had been serious then he might as well make room for anyone that really needed it.

General Organa came when she heard he could move about. With such a major victory, the Resistance had time to breathe a little. Not much, everyone still had to stay on their toes and had daily duties but enough that allowed General Organa to take him aside.

“Usually I wouldn’t do this,” she said as they walked around the compounds, “but I feel I owe you some of my time.”

“I just did what anyone would do. I wish I could’ve done more. You don’t owe me anything.”

Leia gave a small smile. “And that is why I am glad you have decided to stay on. You are a good man Finn. But if you do wish to go somewhere else I do not mind helping you.”

“The-the First Order only care about themselves. If I kept running I’d only be caring about myself,” Finn replied. “I want to help and I want to be here.”

“That is good news. Dameron seems to think you should join our X-wing pilots. What do you have to say about that?”

“Uh…I don’t really—”

“There are other divisions. We have plenty of jobs. I know Dameron can be a bit…overexcited at times so—”

“I don’t mind it and the idea of being an X-wing pilot doesn’t-oh god! I interrupted you I’m so sorry ma’am! General! General ma’am!”

“No need for such formalities Finn. It’s alright. And I’m glad to see you haven’t bowed under Dameron’s rather boisterous nature. Just remember that you are free to choose.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you,” Finn replied. “Um, I have a question, or offer, I mean just a—”

“It’s alright. Just say it.”

“Well according to professionals I still need to heal before I do any heavy lifting but I figured if you would allow it I could move out of the infirmary,” Finn suggested. An uneasy smile appeared on his face like he was afraid he was stepping out of line.

However, Leia remained smiling and replied, “You went up against a lightsaber. You are allowed to take up room in the infirmary.”

“I know I know,” murmured Finn, “but I would just feel better if I wasn’t taking up room that could be for others. Besides, it would help me sort of get…situated I guess. See how things run from the inside and all that. Besides, I think Poe is really dying for a new roommate.”

Finn bit his lip as it looked like Leia was about to say something else. However, all he got was a secretive smile as she responded, “I’ll have it set up then. Take your time to heal and when you’re ready, we can figure out a position for you.”

“Thank you…”

“Organa is just fine. No need to deal with ma’am and general.”

“Organa then. Thank you so so much,” Finn replied.

“Thank you,” Leia said. “If you ever need anything. Don’t hesitate to ask. Good day Finn.”

Finn nodded. “As to you Organa.”

Watching her leave, Finn made his way back to the infirmary. The nurse that had performed his first medical examination was there helping fix up an arm from a small accident. He finished with a record and then walked over to Finn. He’d learned his name was Caus-Lo and he’d been with the Resistance practically since being a child.

“How was the walk around? You took it easy?”

“Yes. Uh, I wanted to say thank you for helping me,” said Finn. “I’m leaving the infirmary though.”

“It’s a bit soon—”

“Does that mean you’re staying with me now?” Poe cried out, somehow appearing out of nowhere.

“Poe I am talking with a patient,” muttered Nurse Caus-Lo.

“And I am talking with my best friend,” Poe responded. He wrapped an arm around Finn’s shoulder though at least this time he was gentler.

“Well patient trumps best-wait a minute! You’re living in his bunk?” Caus-Lo asked as he pointed an accusing finger at Poe. “What did you bamboozle this kid into?”

“Kid?” questioned Finn.

He was ignored however as Poe replied, “There was no such bamboozling thank you very much. I was just being nice to my buddy.”

Caus-Lo practically rolled his eyes out of their sockets as he crossed his arms. “You are an idiot and you are too naïve,” Caus-Lo said as he pointed at Poe and Finn respectively. He focused on Finn though and said, “He really didn’t force you into this though? Not being to over bearing and all that?”

“Force! You make me feel like a slave owner!” Poe cried out. “You’d call me out if I was being to much, right Finn?”

“I suppose yeah,” Finn responded. He had to admit he was fairly confused over what exactly was going on between the two. He would almost be worried except there was a small playfulness beneath it all.

“Poe, go work.”

“I’m on a break.”

“An oh so convenient break,” countered Caus-Lo. “Do you have a tracker on Finn or something?”

“No, I’m just lucky,” Poe responded with a smirk.

“Well lucky or not I need to do a final examination before he’s released so out.”

“But wwwhhhyyy…”

“Poe stop whining and let me do my job.”

“Your job will take two seconds.”

“Yep. Two seconds where I don’t have to deal with you and your ugly mug.”

“Excuse you I am gorgeous!”

“Maybe compared to a Hutt but I’ve personally seen better humans.”

“Oh is that how—”

“Excuse me but am I missing something here?” interrupted Finn. He looked from Caus-Lo to Poe and back again. “Is this normal or should I…maybe leave…?”

“Oh you’re fine buddy,” Poe replied. “We do this all the time since we’re brothers.”

Finn blinked rapidly. “But you’re human and you’re a Twi’lek…”

“He’s just messing with you,” sighed Caus-Lo. “We’re like brothers. Known each other for a long time. Practically family. And as the older and much more mature ‘brother’ I have the full authority to kick your ass out of here so I can finish the examination.”

Poe let out a disgruntled sigh but at least nodded. Turning to Finn he said, “I’ll be right back. Show you to our bunks and everything. And as for you,” he added pointing at Caus-Lo, “I am much prettier than a Hutt.”

Caus-Lo just rolled his eyes again and ignored Poe on his way out. He focused back on Finn and started going through the proper medical exam.

As he began finishing it up, Caus-Lo added, “I want you to come back in before the weeks up. Just so we can double check on how you’re healing. You’ll probably need to come back in at least once more and then you should be good.”

Finn situated his shirt and grabbed his jacket. As he slid it over his shoulders, Caus-Lo also said, “And as for Poe, we bicker back and forth constantly. It’s just how we are so no need to worry about that. And he’s a good guy but a bit of an idiot.”

“Honestly I don’t understand that last part,” Finn admitted.

“Well, let’s just say he’s somehow very good at avoiding situations while being painfully obvious.” Upon seeing Finn still looked confused, he added, “You’ll probably see soon enough. Oh look. It’s Poe the Hutt.”

“Oh hush about that. You’ve dragged that joke on for to long anyways,” Poe replied. His eyes lit up at seeing Finn though. “Oh what did I tell you! The stitching makes you totally look like a badass. I knew it would be perfect.”

Finn cocked his head to the side curiously. “Really? Because I remember you rambling on about how you were afraid I wouldn’t like it.”

“You sure? I don’t remember that,” Poe said cheekily. He then wrapped his arm around Finn’s and began dragging him away. He looked behind at Caus-Lo and gave a little wave. He dragged Finn away though before any more words could be exchanged.

Out of the infirmary, Poe dropped his arm but it was a slow movement like he didn’t exactly want to. Nevertheless, he didn’t say anything on the matter and simply said, “This way. The building is right over here.”

“Near where they keep the X-wings I see,” commented Finn.

“Yeah, a lot people who sleep here are pilots though it’s not like we have everyone blocked off in little sectors or anything. Most pilots just like to sleep near their X-wing. It’s a comfort.”

Finn hummed in interest as Poe pointed out a few other things before they went into the compound.

“This is the cafeteria,” said Poe as they passed through a large room. “Each compound has their own and you’re welcome to dine with someone else at a different mess hall or outside or wherever. Only time we’re ever strict is in emergencies and when we’re in immediate fire. The showers and bathrooms are off through these halls along with locker rooms for the X-wing pilots and anyone else who has to suit up for their job. Now this way to the bunks.”

Finn followed and nodded at a few people as they passed. He didn’t know any of their names yet they all seemed to know his. It was an odd feeling, going from a nameless mask to someone that everyone seemed to have heard of. Poe waved to most of them, was obviously closer to some than to others, and finally he moved into a room.

Finn followed and looked over Poe’s shoulder into the small space. He supposed to most people it was considered small but for him it was already larger than what he had been use to as a stormtrooper. Besides, it had a rather homey feeling which was definitely nice.

There was obviously blank spaces where the last occupant had kept their items but Poe’s things kept it from being empty.

The bunks were set into the wall with a smaller space underneath the bottom one. He saw two boxes there. On either side of the bunks were closets and there was a small table and two chairs that were currently protruding from the wall and filling up most of the space.

“Sorry, forgot I had these out,” Poe said as he used the control pad to put the chairs and table away. As they moved back into the walls, he swiped a pad and several sticks off the table before they fell to the floor.

Looking at the pad and then to the drawings plastered to the walls, Finn made a sensible connection and said, “So you sew and draw. I never really knew anybody artistic.”

“I’m not artistic. Just mess around,” Poe grinned.

“Really? You’re a natural,” argued Finn. “I suppose just like flying. You’re really talented.”

“Ah you’re going to make me blush,” Poe joked. “Naw, it’s just nice to have a hobby. Besides, you never know when little things like this can come in handy. You ever-well no. I suppose you wouldn’t have.”

“Hey, no need to be careful. What were you going to ask?”

“Well I was going to ask if you liked to draw or had any hobbies but I’m guessing such things weren’t exactly…”

“Encouraged? Yeah. That’s a pretty good word for it,” Finn helped.

“Well you should try to find one,” Poe said cheerily. “It helps on the slower days and the boring nights. I could point you towards some options. Teach you how to draw or show you some good reading material. Whatever you want.”

“That…would be great actually. Thanks,” said Finn. He was pretty sure he was beginning to learn what having a friend truly meant.

Poe was also grinning, it seemed like he didn’t do much else, when his face dropped into a serious expression. “I completely forgot. I haven’t asked the most important question.”

Finn looked on confused. A bit of worry set in as he waited for what it might be.

“Do you want the top or bottom bunk?”

“That’s your serious question?” asked Finn incredulously.

“Of course,” Poe replied as his expression slipped into mock seriousness and it was obvious he was trying not to laugh. “It’s a question as old as the Force. Something that everyone must answer.”

“General Organa teach you that?”

“Of course.”

They both erupted into laughter and after it subsided, Poe added, “But really. You get to choose. Top or bottom?”

Finn had to admit it was all a bit overwhelming with all these choices. It was definitely different when compared to being told what to do day in and day out. However, he certainly liked it and replied, “Top then.”

Poe gave a little cheer and shouted, “Great! I prefer the bottom bunk anyways. So, we got some free time now. How about going through some possible hobbies?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and commenting and all the kudos. It means a lot and I'm glad people seem to be enjoying it.
> 
> Ended up making the nurse from the first chapter into a sort of minor character. Just to remind people his name now is Caus-Lo and he's a Twi'lek.
> 
> Also Hutt is the species of what Jabba the Hutt was just in case some didn't catch that.
> 
> Thanks again and hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added BB-8 to this one. He will be in the story from here on out and sorry I forgot about him. Thanks again for all comments and kudos. Please enjoy!

“Alright,” Poe said excitedly, “Have you ever had gruuvan shaal?”

Over the last two days Finn had been bombarded with a number of hobbies. Poe had succeeded in finding two that Finn had become partial to. The first was holochess. Poe was rather bitter about that one as Finn had swiftly learned the ups and downs of the game. Fairly quickly Finn was able to beat him every time no matter what Poe did.

The other hobby which didn’t make Poe frown as much was showing him metal working. The Resistance tried to use anything and everything but every once in a while there were pieces and scraps that just weren’t any use and sometimes it took more energy to reuse such pieces than was worth. It allowed for those who wanted the pieces to mess about with them and use them for more aesthetic purposes.

So Finn had taken to metal working and holochess. With that having succeeded, Poe had then turned to food as something to introduce Finn to. Basically on all of his breaks Poe would bring Finn something new.

Finn was beginning to wonder when he would simply stop asking if he’d ever had any of the foods as every time Finn said no. It didn’t look like he’d stop anytime soon though.

As before, Finn said, “No Poe I haven’t.”

“Oh, am I boring you?” asked Poe as he misinterpreted Finn’s tone.

Finn was actually trying not to laugh at Poe’s over eager state and just said, “Not at all. It’s very nice being introduced to new things. What’s gruuvan shaal?”

“It originates from Twi’lek culture. Caus-Lo introduced me to it. Here.”

“Huh. Not bad,” Finn replied as he tried it. “Thanks. You know, you don’t have to do this though.”

Poe shrugged, “Yeah, I know that. But this is just to much fun and I like spoiling you.”

“You sure? I feel like this is all putting a burden on you or something.”

“No way! Are you kidding me? This is the exact opposite of a burden. I love doing this,” responded Poe.

“You know, anyone else and I wouldn’t be sure, but you just ooze the truth.”

Poe looked on smug as ever at that. Then he bounced up and clapped his hands together. “Hey! The main engineers have finished their maintenance over my X-wing and I finally get to do the finishing touches. Want to help me?”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Yep! I promise, no heavy lifting or anything. Doctor’s orders and all that. But figured you might like a look up close to an X-wing.”

“I’d-that would be great!” Finn admitted.

“Come on then,” cried Poe as he grabbed Finn and pulled him up. He guided Finn through the compound and to his X-wing. This time he kept a hold on Finn a bit longer but eventually let go, again with that slight hesitation. Finn took notice as he had before and put it at the back of his mind to think about later on.

As they came to Poe’s X-wing, Finn asked, “Why do you do the finishing touches on it?”

“There’s just a level of care that comes with being the pilot of your own X-wing. Besides, the engineers check big things and I get to run over all the finer details. Just something I specialize in.”

Poe showed Finn the cockpit, pointed out controls, taught him some terms and showed him some of the minor adjustments he was making. While they were at it BB-8 came by. Now that Finn was bunking with Poe he was seeing a lot more of the little droid. He was getting better at guessing the intent behind his beeps but he still didn’t quite understand him beep for beep.

The droid actually tended to sleep or at least rest its systems in their bunk room and Finn had quickly discovered it was a challenge not getting tripped up by the little guy as it raced about. Now Finn noted how he kept nudging Poe rather purposefully.

Every once in a while Poe would stop in his conversation with Finn and muttered something at BB-8 but Finn didn’t quite get the full picture. The droid was annoyed with something and Poe clearly wasn’t budging on the matter. Finn stayed out of it though, deciding that it was their business and not his.

After sometime had passed they took a short break. Sitting next to the X-wing, Poe somehow managed to get another food item from some odd culture and had Finn try it. This one didn’t go down quite as well and in the end left Finn gagging and Poe and BB-8 laughing.

“I would have been surprised if you did like it,” Poe said as he continued with his laughter. He was about to continue talking when he stopped and his face lit up. “How did I not notice you little guy?”

Finn turned, expecting that Poe was talking to BB-8 but saw that he was talking to a plant that he hadn’t noticed either. It looked like some strange flower.

“Hey, you want to know something cool about D’Qar?” asked Poe as he spoke the planet’s name where they were currently based.

“Sure. Like what?”

“There were hardly any large creatures and certainly no sentient ones when the Resistance first arrived. It’s plentiful but was uninhabited by any civilization which is why it was so easy to make it a base for the Resistance. And made it way better than Hoth. But there are loads of smaller creatures and plant life. It’s what allows us to not have to worry about rations and all that. Plenty of food for now and plenty in storage. But there’s a lot of other benefits from some of the plants. Healing and things like that so some research has gone into the planet’s biology and these little guys…well they’re just fascinating,” Poe finished as he leaned down next to the flower.

“What are they called?” asked Finn.

“Well the scientists have some long boring name for them—”

BB beeped persistently.

“I know there’s a purpose to them,” muttered Poe, “but they are long and hard to pronounce.” He turned back to Finn. “I like to just call them Tivs. Short for sensitive.”

“I’m guessing there’s a reason for that,” said Finn.

Poe nodded. “They’re not exactly sentient, not like us. But they’re not like other plants. They’re almost what most pets are like I suppose, with automatic reflexes and feelings and what not. Like…just watch this.”

Putting his hand near the odd flower, Poe made a petting motion without actually making contact. The flower moved slightly. Then got closer, testing the boundaries, and then made contact with Poe’s hand. He stroked it softly several times and the flower reacted to the motion in what seemed to be pleasure.

“I’ve never seen a plant like that,” Finn said in wonder. “Why’d you let it come to you?”

“They’re very gentle. They can die simply from shock which makes it kind of surprising that one was able to grow in this area at all what with all the people moving about and the X-wings. Must be a pretty tough Tiv.”

“You like biology?”

“Naw just flowers,” Poe responded, “which is why I grabbed these little guys.”

He got up and went to his cockpit. Grabbing something that Finn hadn’t caught before, it was obvious that Poe had intended Finn to come out all along even if he had said no. Poe pulled the object into view and Finn saw that it was a bunch of flowers.

“These of course aren’t sentient, not like the Tivs anyway, so didn’t have to feel as bad picking them. Thought you might like to incorporate them into your metal sculptures that you’ve been working on. Bring a bit of color and life to them.”

“Maybe I like them cold and metallic.”

“Uh huh,” muttered Poe, calling the bluff. “Like I believe that. Anyways, these are some of my favorite from this planet. I keep a booklet of them pressed back in my room.”

“Pressed?”

“Yeah, I mean, it would be just as easy to scan them into a data module but it’s just better having them physically present. Though I did get a scan of the Tivs. Didn’t want to hurt them.”

“So you keep presses of flowers, draw, sew, great shot, genius pilot, natural leader, how much more is there to you?” joked Finn.

“What? It’s not that much,” Poe shrugged.

“Well maybe it’s not to most people but it is to me,” Finn replied. “But thanks for the flowers. I’ll definitely use them in a sculpture.”

BB-8 beeped furiously and Poe blushed deeply.

“Hey, shut it!” Poe said as he made to kick the droid but BB-8 avoided it easily.

“What it do?” asked Finn with a grin.

“Trying to embarrass me the little bastard.”

“Trying?” asked Finn, taking note of the blush.

“Yeah yeah, whatever-BB-8 stop it! Yes, I know but-oh you little—”

Poe jumped up and chased the little droid as it continued to beep away and Finn couldn’t help but laugh at the scene. He had to say, he’d probably done ninety-nine percent of his entire life’s laughter around and due to Poe in some way shape or form. It was amazing how someone could make him laugh that much though this time he did feel a bit sorry for the guy.

When BB-8 and Poe seemed to finally come to an understanding, they settled back down. Finn was still smiling and said, “I’m really going to have to learn to understand BB if you two go off this often.”

“Well believe me, he’s usually not this stubborn,” muttered Poe as he sent the droid a glare. However, he became chipper again and jumped up. “Well, back to work. How about I show you the propulsion system?”

Even if Poe hadn’t rather obviously changed the subject, Finn hadn’t planned to push it. It was becoming clear that there was something Poe was keeping from him, or at least trying to keep from him, but he didn’t mind that. He could tell that whatever it was didn’t lead to any ill intent. It was just something Poe wasn’t ready to reveal yet.

Though Finn had meant what he said about BB-8. What with the droid becoming a near constant in his life he was going to have to understand it sooner or later. For the moment though, he went back to work on the X-wing with Poe then made sure to grab the flowers and avoid the Tiv when they finally left, BB-8 trailing behind them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for everything! So happy that people are enjoying this! From now on I'm planning for ten chapters, nine full ones and a nice little epilogue to round everything off. Thanks again and please enjoy :)

The next day, Poe seemed extremely excited upon getting out of bed. It was about two seconds after Finn had woken up that he burst out, “Alright I can’t keep it in anymore. I’m going to start teaching you how to fly!”

“What do you mean keep it in? That took you no time at all to blurt out,” Finn said with a small smirk.

“Hey, I was trying alright? But come on and get dressed. We’re going flying!”

“You know, I haven’t exactly said yes to being an X-wing fighter right?”

“I know,” Poe said, “but it’s still a useful skill if you gotta get away quickly. And it means I don’t have to go to those stupid safety seminars.”

Finn raised an eyebrow at that. “Somehow I don’t think safety is stupid.”

“Whatever, just get dressed. It will be great!” Poe replied.

They both got dressed and BB-8 came to. He became even chipper at hearing they were going flying, making several pleased beeps at that.

As they walked to the mess hall to get something to eat first, Finn commented on, “I hope this isn’t to forward but I just noticed how you don’t have a lot of scars.”

“What? You think all Resistance fighters are tough and gruff guys who have layers of scar tissue? Giant slash down one eye and a twisted mouth?” Poe joked as he made a face.

Finn laughed and shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess part of me kind of did. And you’ve seen combat plenty of times. Gone on your own missions and what not. I just figured you might have a few.”

“Well there are a couple of small ones here and there but for the most part I’m unscathed. Being a pilot, particularly with the X-wings, leads to that. You go down, you go down and more often than not we’re in space. Not exactly easy to make a successful crash landing.”

“How can a crash landing being successful?” asked Finn curiously.

“Any landing you can walk away from is a successful one. One-o’-one of flying,” Poe said with a grin. BB-8 beeped in agreement.

“You two seem to be on better terms today.”

“Well it helps when he’s not being so cruel to me,” Poe muttered with a small glare. However, BB-8 countered it with possibly the saddest beep ever and Poe was immediately down hugging the droid. “Alright I’m sorry! You’ve never been cruel to me you precious little ball of glowing happiness!”

BB-8 beeped in what was probably an apology accepted only to say something else that had Poe jumping up and saying, “I told you to stop saying that. No it’s not true. Okay-maybe it is a little but that doesn’t mean you have to keep bringing it up. Yes it’s partially because it makes me blush! No, that should not be an accomplishment! Here, you stop bringing it up and I won’t insult you. How’s that?”

The droid beeped in what seemed to be the equivalent of an eye roll but gave a little nod.

“Thank you.” Poe turned to Finn. “Stop looking so amused it’s not funny. Now let’s go to breakfast.”

“I don’t know, I think it’s highly amusing,” Finn replied with a grin.

Poe just rolled his eyes and they continued on to the mess hall. Afterwards they headed back to Poe’s X-wing where he tested Finn’s memory on what he’d already told him the day before. They also went over some new things and this time Poe had Finn sit in the pilot’s seat.

“Hey, don’t look so nervous. I’m not going to ask you to fly off here and now. I just think it’s good to let a person get a feel for an actual cockpit. Not all those training and practice simulators. If they’re not comfortable in an actual cockpit it doesn’t matter how good they’re at the practice runs.”

“Ok, as long as I’m not shooting off into the sky right now,” Finn responded with a kind of nervous smile. However, he shook out any nerves and concentrated on the controls in front of him. “So when starting it up I flick this and do this, right?”

Finn went through the start up process whether well and Poe was clearly pleased.

“You remembered a lot. Good job,” Poe said, clearly pleased. He then gave a very wide eyed innocent look as he asked, “So have you thought of joining the X-wing pilots?”

Letting loose a small smile, Finn replied, “I’m honestly just not sure. I mean…I guess just have to actually learn how to fly first.”

“Alright, well I can teach you that,” Poe said. “Though I will say a maybe is a bit more necessary to actually get permission to full on teach you. If you can learn to fly will you be an X-wing pilot.”

Finn paused for a second, mulling it over in his head just a little more, and then nodded. “Yeah, I will. You need X-wing pilots and if I can fly then I’ll sure as hell join you.”

“Glad to hear it,” responded Poe and it was obvious he was trying not to jump with joy.

“Will you be able to contain your happiness?” questioned Finn, already taking note of the tell-tale signs of an outburst.

“I’m not sure.”

Finn laughed and replied, “Well I don’t mind if you have to hoot and holler and do a fist bump in the air.”

Smiling, Poe did just that.

“Get out of your system now?”

“For the moment, yeah.”

Finn snorted. “Good, then we can get back to teaching me how to fly.”

“Awesome! So if you look over here this…”

After finishing up, both Poe and Finn headed off to get it officiated which included getting things like suits and actual schedules set for practice rounds and what not. They ran into Caus-Lo afterwards who of course had a few things to say.

“You finally tricked him didn’t you,” sighed Caus-Lo.

“There was no trickery,” Finn responded before they could start arguing. “I decided all on my own.”

“Are you sure? I don’t have to put this one in a headlock, right?” asked Caus-Lo.

“You don’t. Honest,” Finn replied. “Definitely my choice.”

Caus-Lo gave a pointed look at Poe but smiled at Finn. “I’m glad then. And don’t forget about the day after tomorrow. Another physical just to make sure you’re healing alright.”

“Don’t worry. Haven’t forgotten,” Finn grinned.

Caus-Lo smiled. “Good. Just wanted to double check.”

“Well enough with the double checking,” Poe smoothly interrupted, “but there’s something else we need to do before the day is over.”

“Oh really? I feel like I should be chaperoning.”

Finn raised a curious eyebrow at that but kept silent. He had figured they’d either go back to their room after this but it was obvious that Poe had something else in mind. Finn wasn’t surprised though and it didn’t bother him. He’d already gotten use to the fact that Poe appeared to always plan something new.

“Hush,” Poe muttered. “I’m just going to show him Eneink.”

“You have permission to take a repulsorcraft over there?”

“What? You think I would just steal one to run off with Finn?”

“I think that’s exactly what you would do,” sighed Caus-Lo. “Which is why I’ll be accompanying you both. Ah, and BB-8 agrees with me.”

The droid beeped happily as he rolled into view.

“Of course you agree with him. Don’t you have work?” Poe asked.

“Let’s just say it’s a convenient break.”

“Right, before you two go at each other’s throats could I ask exactly what Eneink is?” questioned Finn.

“No,” said Poe.

Caus-Lo sighed. “Yes, it’s a lake.”

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” whined Poe.

“Alright, I know you want to help Finn with experiencing the greater things in the galaxy but somehow I think he’s seen a lake before,” Caus-Lo responded. “And he knows there’s water on this planet so lakes shouldn’t be that shocking.”

Finn resisted the urge to laugh. It was obvious that Poe was disappointed in Caus-Lo so Finn decided to do damage control and replied, “Hey, if it helps I haven’t seen this lake. Where is it?”

Poe bit his bottom lip. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Still can be,” replied Finn. “Come on. I’m curious now.”

“You’re sure?”

“Definitely! Let’s go.”

“See,” Caus-Lo said. “The man says he wants to go so let’s move out.”

“You’re still coming aren’t you,” muttered Poe. The sourer look on his face was gone though and what remained was more a look of acceptance and annoyance.

“Of course. Might as well keep BB-8 company.”

“I keep BB-8 plenty of company thank you very much,” said Poe.

“I’m sure. Why else would he come running to me when you neglect him?”

“Neglect-I don’t neglect you do I?”

BB-8 beeped in a very shrug-like manner and began spinning away. As Poe and BB-8 playfully bickered back and forth, Finn and Caus-Lo followed behind. They headed outside and found a craft. As the group got situated, Poe signed off on it and then they headed away from the base.

“So why this lake?” asked Finn curiously. “Something special about it?”

Poe hesitated and then said, “Just wait until we get there.”

Finn gave a small laugh but nodded and they moved on. When they arrived, Poe jumped out with a hopeful look. Both Caus-Lo and BB-8 whispered to each other about how Poe looked like he was going to jump out of his skin but Finn wasn’t listening.

He moved out of the vehicle and walked passed Poe. He looked around and couldn’t help the look of aw that moved over his face.

Somehow Poe was keeping silent and eventually Finn said, “It’s untouched by…everything. I never thought someplace so gorgeous could just…be without anyone or anything around.”

“I know, right?” Poe said with a smile. “The Resistance’s base was almost built here. Myself and plenty of others are glad that didn’t happen.”

“Do others come here?”

“Plenty, yeah. Sometimes to get away from the hell that’s been breaking out across the galaxy. It’s easy to forget the Firs Order is out there when you’re sitting right here. Other’s take the time for some peace and quiet,” Poe said. “I even heard that when Skywalker was around he used this place to meditate.”

Finn’s eyebrows shot up in wonder and curiosity at that. However, he didn’t say anything and instead took a step back. Poe tried to turn to see what he was doing but before he fully could, Finn had jumped forward and hugged Poe fiercely.

“What’s this for?” laughed Poe as he wrapped his arms backwards and over Finns.

“My way of saying thank you,” Finn said. Silently he also took note of the blush, he had been curious if that would happen, but mostly he’d hugged Poe simply to do the action. “And besides, you hug me you’ll probably end up hurting my back.”

“Ha, probably,” Poe replied.

Back at the repulsorcraft, Caus-Lo and BB-8 had remained. Caus-Lo looked at BB-8 and said, “Your pilot really is an idiot. He should just say it.”

BB-8 beeped in agreement and then added something.

“Yes, Finn is fairly bright so there is hope. He may be naïve but he’s clearly not blind,” Caus-Lo responded. Looking at the scene, he glanced back at BB-8 and added, “Feel like annoying Poe just a bit more before the day is up?”

BB-8 beeped happily.

“That’s what I thought. Come on,” Caus-Lo said and they both got out and headed towards Finn and Poe.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the main reason for the angst tag so be warned and enjoy!

Finn had slept above Poe for four nights. All those nights he hadn’t had any nightmares. Sweating profusely, feeling like he was about to start bawling, terrified out of his wits, the inability to breath properly, all of that was more reserved for the wakeful hours. Of course, now things were better, being with the Resistance, but as a stormtrooper all moments of calm and peace was reserved to the hours of sleep. Sleep was still a time for peace and a moment to be alone but at least he didn’t have to worry about that calm being taken away from him once he was awake.

Nevertheless, he was a light sleeper. Probably due to the conditioning so that he could jump up and be ready to fight during any time. Still, he hadn’t been woken up the past four nights so he didn’t exactly expect to be woken up during the fifth. Finn was though and looked into the dark somewhat confused.

He expected the lights to go on, maybe the door to open, but none of that happened. He heard movement and something…broken, but that couldn’t be Poe could it? Sounds of things scraping against the floor, someone scrambling. BB-8 remained off, still silently charging.

So no one had come in, Finn would have heard that. No one had gone out either and BB-8 was still off. That left him and Poe. What the hell was he doing?

Finn waited several more seconds to see if his companion would say anything but he remained silent except for…crying?

Carefully dropping from the top bunk, Finn stretched out his arms, his fingers reaching out to the space around him. He didn’t feel anything so Poe wasn’t standing up. He reached underneath Poe’s bunk as well but he wasn’t there, though he thought the noise was in that direction. He hadn’t heard either closet open which left only one place.

By now, Finn’s eyes had somewhat adjusted to the dark and he saw that the boxes that had been underneath the bunk were now pushed away. Dropping to the ground, Finn got onto his stomach and rested his head on top of his crossed arms.

“Poe?”

“ _Shh_.”

Finn got in a bit closer and dropped his voice. “What are we being quiet for?” Finn asked softly.

“He’s…we have to hide,” murmured Poe. “Have to.”

His voice was broken, terrified, but at the same time didn’t seem all there, like he wasn’t fully awake and aware of what was happening around him.

“Nobody’s here,” whispered Finn. “Just us. No one is come—”

“But-but I feel him. He’s-he won’t leave,” stuttered Poe.

Finn twisted his body and got closer. Unsure if Poe wanted contact or not, he remained an inch or two away. He could feel Poe’s body heat radiating off of him and in the dark he could just barely see the form of the man curled up. Finn got a bit closer still and asked, “Who won’t leave?”

“He’s in-in my head. I can feel it Finn. He-right there and-and there-not-he won’t get out.”

Finn didn’t ask who that could be. Even if he hadn’t already rationalized it he could feel it. He just knew.

He finally took one of Poe’s shaking hands and held it tightly. He remembered when he had been running from the First Order with Rey. Holding her hand, even if she’d yelled at him the first few times, had helped to ground him in the situation, allowed him to focus and certainly helped with the stress. Maybe it would help Poe.

Finn squeezed Poe’s hand tightly. “Doesn’t matter if he’s in there. I’m right here. You can feel my hand.”

“It hurts-I don’t—”

“Right. Here,” repeated Finn. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

“I don’t…I’m afraid to-afraid-I don’t want to-to sleep.”

“It’s okay,” Finn said. He finally got closer. Poe was a hugger and usually did it in celebration or just because but Finn had seen people hug in times of need, when afraid. He copied those actions and finally made full contact, wrapping the other arm around Poe as he kept his other hand tightly wrapped in one of Poe’s. “You’re safe. Kylo Ren isn’t here. I am and I’m going to keep you safe.”

Finn honestly didn’t know how he’d kept his voice calm or how he’d made himself sound so sure. But he succeeded and he could feel Poe’s trembling ease just a little bit. He didn’t say anything else. Instead, he waited to see what Poe needed and eventually the man fell asleep. Finn remained awake however in case Poe woke up again. Any time Poe appeared to be waking up or started to tremble, Finn squeezed his hand and pulled him closer again. The contact seemed to calm him and eventually he fell into a deeper sleep that wasn’t plagued with twitching and gasps.

Carefully, movement by movement, Finn managed to get Poe out from under the bed without waking him and then set him in his own bunk. He slowly pulled away from him and moved the covers around him. Finn slid the boxes back under and then double checked on Poe. He was still sound asleep.

Finn climbed back onto his bunk. He mostly dozed so that he could jump to help Poe if needed but for the rest of the night the other slept.

In the morning, Finn remained still as if he was still sleeping, waiting to see if Poe would confront him or not. However, the other left immediately without even looking in Finn’s direction. It was odd and not like Poe but Finn was unsure of what to do. He got up and got dressed for the day and headed out. He didn’t catch Poe at the mess hall so he ate in silence and then headed to his physical. Caus-Lo wasn’t there so another one went through the routine check.

One more and he was done. This pleased Finn but he was to worried about Poe to care as much as he normally would have.

He logged in to where new X-wing pilots trained and went to work on studying the basic protocol as usual. Finn skipped lunch and continued with his work before finally deciding to look for Poe. Instinctively he headed out to the landing pad and found he was rewarded for his natural instinct. Poe had just landed in his X-wing and had just gotten out. Once he took off his helmet, Finn’s frown deepened.

“He looks awful.”

“Really? He looks better than he usually does after an episode.”

Finn jolted, not expecting the voice from behind. He turned and saw Caus-Lo, arms crossed with a frown on his face.

“Episodes?”

“They’re not frequent but they hit him hard when they do appear,” Caus-Lo said. He turned to Finn. “I’m assuming you know what Kylo Ren did to him?”

“Not for sure,” murmured Finn, “but I have some fairly good assumptions.”

“Working for the First Order I’d imagine you would.”

Finn gave a small nod to that and looked back towards Poe. He was still looking over his X-wing and hadn’t noticed them. Finn noted the bags under his eyes, the way he moved with less spunk. He then remembered what Caus-Lo had said and asked, “He usually looks worse?”

Caus-Lo nodded. “You must have done him some good. Thank you for that.”

“I just…he was in pain so I helped him. Don’t need to thank me for that.”

The Twi’lek hummed in what seemed to be approval.

“Is…has he gotten worse?”

“Like I said, they’re few and far between so it’s difficult to say, but from what I can tell they haven’t gotten worse,” Caus-Lo sighed. “They happen at night, usually triggered by a particularly bad nightmare, and it usually takes him the next day before he gets back to his regular self.”

“Is there anything…”

“The fact that you could be there last night was enough. They may never go away but only time will tell,” murmured Caus-Lo. “Hmm, he’s spotted us.”

“What? How can you tell?”

“Because he’s no longer looking in this direction,” Caus-Lo sighed with a roll of his eyes. “You should go over there. Somehow I imagine your sincerity will help.”

“Are you—” Finn stopped when he realized Caus-Lo had walked off. Letting out a sigh, he headed over to Poe and as he got close it became increasingly obvious that he was avoiding eye contact. Finn expected Poe to be a bit resigned but instead he was surprised when Poe spoke first, the words quick and sudden.

“Sorry about last night.”

The sentence came out like one long word and the brief glance that Poe gave was a sad and apologetic one.

“What-hold on a second. You shouldn’t-why are you apologizing to me?”

“I woke you and was bothering you and—”

“You didn’t bother me,” Finn interrupted.

“But I—”

“I was worried, sure, but that didn’t bother me. I just hope I wasn’t to forward.”

“You hope you weren’t to forward?” Poe asked incredulously.

“Well yeah, if I was getting to far in your personal space or—”

“Finn,” Poe interrupted. He finally was looking at him and now placed his hands on Finn’s arms. “You’re the only reason I didn’t feel like I was drowning then and there.”

“So I did some good?” questioned Finn.

“Some good-some—” Poe stopped there and was suddenly wrapping Finn in a hug and burying his face against Finn’s chest. “That’s the first time I woke up the next day and thought I’d be okay.”

Finn wrapped his arms around Poe as well. “Of course you’ll be okay. You got your own personal stormtrooper looking over you.”

Poe gave a small laugh that was mixed with a hidden sob as he hugged Finn harder. “I’m such a mess,” he mumbled. “It’s so stupid—”

“Don’t even finish that. Whatever it was, it’s not stupid. And you’re not a mess.”

“But one moment I’m fine and then—”

“And then you’re not? That’s okay.”

“Honest?”

“Yeah. I’d like to think of you as a friend. My first friend really, and I take it all. Your goofy nature, your drawings and pressed flowers, your skill as a pilot, your leadership, and any dark nights you have. It’s still you and you are my friend. I think.”

Poe gave another laugh/sob and once again tightened his grip. “Sorry I walked out on you this morning. Sorry I didn’t tell you about this.”

“No need for that. The fact that you let me in at all means a lot to me. Doing it at your own pace is your choice and your right.”

“Still, probably left you confused. Didn’t mean to do that,” Poe said, finally pulling back a bit.

Finn shrugged. “That’s okay, I understand. And if you ever have to be by yourself do that. Just make sure to leave a note so I know you haven’t been kidnapped or something.”

Poe finally gave a fuller laugh. “Alright. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good. Hey, I did some more practice and read up on the manuals today,” Finn said, purposely changing the subject.

“Who cares about manuals?” asked Poe, finally easing up a bit.

“I believe most people do,” Finn chuckled. “Hey, you had dinner yet?”

“No, been flying all day.”

“Well I’m starving having skipped lunch and all that. Come on. Food’s always good on an empty stomach,” Finn said. Keeping one arm on Poe, he guided him back towards the mess hall and thankfully Poe let him. BB-8 trailed behind them and appeared grateful that Finn had helped with Poe’s mood.

To help get Poe’s mind off it all even more, Finn asked him to teach him some techniques on drawing once they were back at their bunk and Poe gladly took up the offer.

That night, even though he remembered what Caus-Lo had said, Finn remained awake for a good bit of it, dozing here and there, to make sure Poe slept soundly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those curious, this chapter came out of the idea that many people had headcanons for Finn and mental damage but honestly I feel that Poe would have the more psychological damage. Anyways, it was just my idea so I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos and thank you for reading :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays everyone! Whether with friends, family, or alone, I hope you're alright and safe. Hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks for reading as always. Your comments and kudos inspire me and this story.
> 
> Also, I'm sure everyone has their own idea as to what Caus-Lo looks like but I ended up drawing him if anyone is curious what my mental picture of him is: http://cannibalistic-husbands.tumblr.com/image/135894860135

The next day Poe was back to himself. Nevertheless, there was an ease about him that Finn hadn’t even realized wasn’t there before. He realized that it must have been caused by him hiding the episodes from Finn. It made him wish Poe hadn’t done it in the first place but Finn was glad that clearly talking had helped, even if it was only a small amount.

That day, Poe supervised most of Finn’s training but there was a time where he had to go off and do another job for the Resistance. When he came back, he looked even more cheerful than when he had left and quickly explained why.

“Rey sent a transmission back today. Thought you would be pleased,” Poe said happily.

“Really? Is she alright?”

“From what I’ve heard, fine. The General’s already gone over it but Rey also sent you a private message. You can view it through the terminal in our room. I can show you how when we get back,” grinned Poe. “But you do need to finish this first.”

“Got it. And thanks!”

“No problem.”

After finishing up with the training, they headed back to their room where Poe showed him how to work the terminal. He then left, giving Finn privacy to read the message.

_Start Transmission: Millennium Falcon//System: Ileenium//Planet: D’Qar//From: Rey//To: General Organa//To: Finn//_

The beginning read to General Organa and the Resistance in general. From the looks of it, things weren’t going well. Not horrible, she wasn’t in danger or anything, but it did look like it would be some time before she would be heading back to D’Qar. Then Finn hit the cut off section.

_The remainder is that of a private letter to Finn who I currently know is stationed at the Resistance Base in D’Qar. Apologies for not sending it separately but Chewbacca wasn’t exactly helpful when trying to figure out how to privatize the message and directly send it to Finn._

He grinned at that.

_Finn,_

_I’ve been told that you are healing well. From what I most recently received, I’m assuming you’re up and walking now. I wish I could be there and I am sorry I left before you even woke but it needed to be done._

_I didn’t get a chance to say thank you for what you did. If you had not stood up when you did, neither of us would have made it out. Thank you for that._

_Honestly, this message may not even reach you. This is all assuming that you’re still with the Resistance. I hope you are still there but after all that has happened I can no longer blame you for wanting to get out of this mess._

_Still, I hope to see you again one day._

_As of now, I have met with Luke Skywalker and needless to say he is difficult._

_I must admit that I tried to run as well. That’s partially the reason I can’t blame you if you have decided to run to safety. He would not accept it when I attempted to offer up his blade and when he did finally take it, it took ages to convince him to train me. In fact, I am still in the process of convincing him. He will not return to the Resistance and that has led me to stay with him._

_The conflict helps though. If I sit to long I begin to think on Han Solo. I only knew him for a short time but I miss him dearly. As much as I cannot stomach Kylo Ren, he was right about me thinking of him as the father I never had. I wish he was not right about this._

_It is hard on Chewbacca as well but needless to say, I’m not an expert on comforting Wookies._

_I hope to hear from you and I hope you are safe, even if it is only temporary._

_I think you would like R2-D2 as well. I’m not so sure about BB-8 though. They would either get along perfectly or hate each other’s robotic guts._

_Your friend,_

_Rey_

_//End Transmission_

Finn couldn’t help but light up at seeing the word friend. He supposed that he shouldn’t be that surprised but actually seeing it brought a great amount of joy to his face. He reread the letter once more, simply happy to finally have a word from Rey, when Poe finally came back.

“You need more time?” asked Poe as he stood in the doorway.

“No, come on in. You know, you didn’t have to leave in the first place.”

Poe shrugged. “Just being polite. So, all good things?”

“Mostly. Apparently Skywalker is a rather stubborn person to work with.”

“After knowing General Organa for as long as I have, that doesn’t surprise me.”

“I suppose so,” Finn agreed. “Hey, is there a way to transmit back?”

“Sure. Here, I’ll show ya.”

Poe took Finn through the process and asked afterwards, “Want me to leave again or—”

“No, no point in that. It’s getting late anyways.”

“Alright, I’ll just draw over hear I guess,” Poe said as he plopped onto his bunk. A cheeky grin spread over his face as he added, “I promise not to look over your shoulder too.”

Finn rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”

He turned back to the terminal and began to work on his response.

_Start Transmission: Planet: D’Qar//System: Ileenium//Millennium Falcon //From: Finn//To: Rey_

_Rey,_

_I wish I could hear your voice but your words are welcomed too. I was worried when I woke up and you weren’t there but my mind was eased at hearing you were safe. I wish I could have seen you off at least._

_I’ve almost completely healed. All better. Just a few more days and then there won’t be anything holding me back. I also received your message fine. I’m still with the Resistance on D’Qar._

_I wish your mission would go more smoothly but as a friend pointed out, it’s not surprising that Skywalker is being difficult all things considered. Still, I hope to see you again soon and wish you a safe mission._

_And believe me, running away from all this would be great. But within these past days it would probably break me from doing so. I’ve become more integrated with the Resistance and am out of the infirmary and sharing a bunk with a friend._

_As of now, I’m working on becoming an X-Wing pilot. It’s a dangerous job and part of me wonders why I’m doing it but just thinking of all the people I can help usually stops any thoughts. It’s weird caring about so many people and being so close to them. In an emotional way, not a bland identity-less way._

_I like it though._

_I_

Finn paused in his writing. An idea had just formed in his head but he wasn’t sure whether to ask it or not. An answer to his question wasn’t required but if he could get help or suggestions from any other sources that would be worth it.

_I have a friend that experiences episodes where he becomes confused with what’s real and they are often caused by nightmares_

Finn stopped again. Even if Rey didn’t know who Poe was, even if he simply said ‘friend’, he still felt like he was betraying some unspoken trust. He quickly erased that part. Still, he had some questions and perhaps Rey could help with that.

_I have a friend here who acts differently around me than others. It’s small things but noticeable actions. Like one example is actually dragging me around with his hand instead of just guiding me to something like most people do. He’s also opened up to me a lot in a short time. There’s a lot of blushing to. I think that means something and I have an idea but I’m still not sure. Maybe you can shed some light on that. Do friends just act like that?_

_Anyways, is the Millennium Falcon in good condition? I suppose I shouldn’t say that. The best condition it can be is a better way to phrase that. I’m surprised you took that in search of Skywalker but I doubt Chewbacca would have take anything else. The Millennium Falcon was possibly the first thing that I could think of as a home. That may seem weird with how short of a time I was on it but it was the first time I was in a place that felt individual, was different, personal. Probably stupid to miss a ship but I do._

_Even with how terrifying Chewbacca is I miss the fur ball._

_And please don’t tell him I said that. I’d rather not be mauled to death the next time we meet._

_I hope to hear from you soon though there’s no telling with these transmissions. I wish you the best of luck._

_And I’m sure I would like R2-D2. From what I know about the droid, it’s a fine companion._

_Your friend,_

_Finn_

_//End Transmission_

Finn couldn’t help but get a bit giddy at actually writing back the words ‘your friend’. It was just so strange yet such a welcoming feeling being able to do that. Finally sending it, he got up and put in the sequence to retract the table and chairs. Turning around, he saw Poe grinning at him.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to look over my shoulder,” Finn said with a smirk.

“Hey, wasn’t, I promise.”

“Then what’s all the grinning for?”

“You looked…cute.”

Finn raised an eyebrow at that. “Cute?”

“Well you did! Don’t know what you were writing but I was getting cute vibes from it.”

“Cute vibes? Do you have a device that measure those vibes or something?” laughed Finn.

Poe smiled. “Maybe I do.”

Finn just rolled his eyes. “Whatever. So what were you drawing?”

“Uh…”

“If it’s personal I won’t look—”

“No, it’s not that,” Poe responded, looking a bit embarrassed. “It’s just…well here.” Poe handed him the drawing with a sheepish look. “You were just sitting there so I figured why not so…yeah.”

“This is amazing!” Finn said. The drawing was of himself. “You did a good job. To good! I definitely don’t look like this.”

“What are you talking about? I drew what I saw,” defended Poe.

“No way. I don’t look that good.”

“Well I drew what I saw so you can’t argue with it.”

“If you say so,” chuckled Finn. “Well, it’s late now. Better get on to bed.”

“Yeah, probably a good idea. Listen, you can keep it if you want. Or not. It’s up to you but—”

“Seriously?!”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, thanks Poe!”

“You don’t have to be that cheerful.”

“What? You think I’m faking it?” chuckled Finn. “No way. I love this. Thank you.”

Still looking a bit embarrassed, Poe replied, “No problem buddy.”

Finn made sure to be extra careful when putting the picture away. Once done, he noted how Poe still seemed puzzled as to why he would take so much care for just one little drawing.

“Is it that hard to believe that I like it?” asked Finn.

“I suppose not, I just-oh never mind. I should probably say thank you for liking it so much you want to keep it.”

“No problem with that. Night then.”

“Yeah, night-well wait! I almost forgot to mention. I’m thinking of taking you flying tomorrow.”

“Seriously?” asked Finn excitedly.

“Yeah. Not the X-wings since they’re only for one pilot but there’s another craft that has a similar control system. Good way to get rooky fliers use to being up in the air. I figured it would be a nice break from the usual boring practice drills and all that.”

“It definitely would. You just gave me an even better reason to go to bed now just so tomorrow can come sooner.”

Poe laughed. “Glad to hear it! Night.”

“Night, Poe.”

With lights out and each in their respective bed, they both slept a peaceful, dreamless sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always. I'm really happy people are enjoying this and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks for reading!

“Alright, now just be gentle with it…there…there…you got it.” Poe’s hand finally left Finn’s as he watched Finn move the craft on his own.

They’d been flying for several hours and for a good bit of it either Poe was flying or at least guiding Finn’s hands. Finn wasn’t positive but he had a pretty good guess that Poe had been doing a lot more physical guiding than was probably necessary but he didn’t mind it and was honestly a bit sad when the other finally seemed to think Finn was ready to go completely on his own.

BB-8 beeped.

“He is doing a good job isn’t he. Now you know you’re doing great Finn. BB-8 said so.”

“Well I’m glad to hear it,” laughed Finn. “Now, am I going to do the landing?”

“I’ll guide you through that, but for now try it on your own for a bit.”

Finn did just that. It was an exhilarating feeling, flying through the air like this. It was different from simply traveling in a flying craft, different to being at the guns. Here he was in control and where he traveled in the galaxy was through his hands alone.

Suddenly, curiosity formed in Finn’s mind as an idea came to him. He purposefully guided the ship out of their trajectory. It wasn’t much but it was enough for Poe to notice. He leaned back over and placed one hand on Finn’s. “No, not like this. Here we go…” Poe guided him back into the right place but suddenly froze. He gave a pointed look to Finn and said, “Did you do that on purpose?”

“Perhaps,” Finn responded. He copied Poe’s cheeky grin. He’d seen it enough. He was pretty good at using it now.

“Why?” asked Poe. He was amused but clearly curious by this.

“An experiment.”

“For…”

“Secret, sorry,” grinned Finn.

“Ah, you’re no fun,” muttered Poe as he took his hand away and leaned back. “Will you at least give me a hint?”

“No but you’ll probably figure it out later.”

“Later as in today or in general?”

“General.”

Poe just rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Well, since that little rondevu was on purpose I must say you did a good job. Enough to get my attention but still not to much to put us in danger.”

“Thank you then.”

“Hey, you’re almost healed right?” Poe asked.

“Yeah, next physical is in a few more days and then I should be done.”

“Good.”

“Why? You’re not the one who’s healing.”

“Yeah but afterwards I can give you a proper hug.”

“I shake in fear if what I have been receiving aren’t proper hugs.”

Poe laughed. “You should. My hugs are the best in the galaxy.”

“Hmm, you sure?”

“Positive. Okay, now we’re going to do a turn around and then I’ll help you land.”

After landing the craft, Poe had his own little rendezvous that he wanted to make and Finn followed him curiously. They had walked back to the Tiv, the flower surprisingly still alive.

“You wanted to come and check on it?” asked Finn. The thought made him smile.

“Well yeah. It’s not like it’s going to get much water and nutrients here. At least I didn’t think so. Little guy is still making it through though. This is possibly the most resilient Tiv I’ve ever seen,” murmured Poe.

He once again kept his hand out a little ways from it, allowing the Tiv to come to him if it wished. Poe smiled and petted the little guy a bit.

BB-8 beeped unhappily.

“Hey, I’m not replacing you,” laughed Poe. “No need to worry about that.”

BB beeped some more.

“No you aren’t allowed to crush it! Don’t be so rude,” Poe replied. “I promise, you’re the only little companion for me. Promise.”

BB-8 beeped happily at that and nudged Poe’s leg a few times like an affectionate cuddle.

“Alright, you don’t have to suck up to me you know,” laughed Poe, “but I certainly don’t mind. Come on, time for dinner.”

The three headed back to their compound and into the mess hall. After eating they went back to their bunk room and settled in for the night.

Finn went to sleep expecting another restful night but he was surprised when he was woken up in the middle of the night by a noise. He quickly dropped from his bunk.

“Poe…”

“I’m fine. Sorry, just a nightmare.”

“But I thought you didn’t have—”

“It’s not uh…a uh…here you can sit down. Just need a quick um…quick moment.”

Gingerly, Finn sat down. He watched in the dark as Poe shook his hands a bit as if to get the nerves out.

“Sorry I woke you.”

“It’s no problem. I can go back to my bunk if you want.”

“You can stay.”

“That code for you want me to stay?”

“Yeah I guess,” sighed Poe. “Sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry. You had a nightmare. It’s okay. But I am a bit…uh…confused. I thought—”

“Oh, I should probably explain that.”

“You don’t have to if—”

“No it’s fine. I should anyways,” Poe murmured. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat up straighter, bringing his knees in.

Finn took that as an invitation to actually get on the bed instead of sitting on the edge. He mimicked Poe’s position, knees up to his chest and back against the wall. “So…”

“Right, yeah. I’m sor-right I won’t say it,” Poe said, interrupting himself as if he knew Finn would get on to him for saying ‘sorry’ again. “Promise, won’t say it. But anyways, uh…I get nightmares here and there. More frequently than the episodes.”

“But what about the episodes?”

“They’re…worse. They’re usually triggered by a nightmare,” Poe explained. “With nightmares, it’s just a bad dream. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of one, sometimes I remain asleep and get through it. Whatever. But the uh, the episodes are just…they’re different.”

“How are they different?” Finn hoped it was alright to ask that.

Poe seemed uncertain for a bit, the silence between them stretching, but suddenly he dived in. “With the nightmares, I can sometimes figure out it’s a dream while I’m in it. Or at least when I wake up I know it was all a dream and I can just go back to sleep. I know I’m…no matter what’s happening in them I’m still me. I guess that’s it. Even if it’s an awful nightmare I still know what I’m doing and that I am myself, at least by dream logic.”

“And the episodes?”

“They…it’s like I can’t wake up,” Poe said. “You…did Ky-did he ever mess inside your…uh…”

“No. Thank god no. I was just a soldier. He didn’t really bother with them.”

“Yeah, I figured that,” Poe sighed. “I don’t know…maybe you do but I don’t know if someone can actually use the force to control someone. Can they?”

“I don’t think so but I’m not exactly an expert on it,” Finn said.

Poe nodded. “That’s what I thought. Well, whether you can or can’t, during the episodes it’s…horrifying. I don’t feel like myself. It’s like my actions and motions won’t fully come out, like I’m trapped. And though now I can remember what it felt like being tortured by…him, during the episodes it’s like it’s happening all over again. It’s no longer me imagining that he’s rooting around in there, he is. He’s doing it all again and I can’t stop him.”

Poe paused for a second. Finn remained silent, unsure of what to say.

“It’s worse because sometimes I can still see his face,” Poe murmured.

“What do you mean?”

“Well I knew him. I knew him before…before he was Ky-who he is now. I knew him as Ben.”

“You did?” Finn asked in surprise.

“Yeah, I mean, we weren’t friends or anything. I just…I remember walking past him. I remember the kind smiles he would sometimes show. Yeah, he was a bit of a loner but I never thought…I still can’t help but think of him as that kid. He was just a kid,” Poe mumbled. “And now he fucking terrifies me.”

“Don’t tell me you’re blaming yourself—”

“No, don’t worry. I’m not doing that,” sighed Poe. “I just…I wish there was something more I could do instead of just suffering through them.”

“You have talked to—”

“Yeah, I’ve talked to people about them. But they’re not like the nightmares. I know how to calm down, what to do to ground myself. How to make certain ones appear less frequently. I know not to dwell on them. There’s ways to deal with nightmares but with the episodes…I don’t know. Tried a lot of things but they just come back no matter what I do. And the time between each one is so much that’s it’s impossible to know if anything works until it just shows up again. Forms of therapy, medicine, tried it all. Caus-Lo has forced me to get a number of scans done but there’s no physical damage as far as doctor’s can see. I just…there’s nothing to do.”

“Is me being here…does it help at all then? Or am I just kidding myself?”

“No, don’t even think that,” replied Poe. “That’s partially…god it’s embarrassing but that’s partially the reason I just left afterwards. When you were here during it. I’m usually horribly shaken up after them. It takes me a while to get back to myself. But like I said before, the fact that you helped, that you were there, it was unexpected but not unwelcomed. I was just so use to dragging myself through them without anyone there for help it was a serious shock that you were here and made a difference.”

“I’m glad I made a difference then,” Finn replied. He scooted closer and put one arm around Poe, pulling him close. “And just as a rule of thumb you never have to say ‘sorry’ to me.”

“Somehow I feel like I’m going to have to stop myself repeatedly,” chuckled Poe. “You’ve been through hell your entire life. I shouldn’t be burdening you with my problems.”

“You’re going to have to stop using the word ‘burden’ too,” Finn said which earned another laugh.

“Somehow I think we’re going to need a rule book.”

They both chuckled at that and Poe rested his head against Finn’s shoulder.

Finn gave a small smile in the dark. “What? You getting tired on me now?”

“Sor-yeah kind of. I should—”

Finn pulled Poe back before the other could get out of reach. “You comfortable?”

“Well yeah but—”

“No point in moving then.” Finn shifted a bit and then stilled. “Night.”

“Oh come on, you can’t possibly be—”

“Night Poe.”

Finn imagined the other rolling his eyes but Poe seemed to finally comply with it. He was glad he hadn’t fought much. He liked where they were right now, the proximity, the warmth radiating off the other’s body. He wondered if what he was feeling was what Poe felt every time he blushed that scarlet color. If it was, then maybe he was getting to understand exactly why Poe did certain things and acted certain ways. He knew it was mainly because Poe was a genuinely kind person but he had always felt there was another reason there. Maybe he was finally getting an answer to all that.

Thankfully, Finn could sleep pretty well in just about any position so it took no time at all for him to succumb to it. In the morning, Finn woke to find he was still sitting up, back against the wall. Poe on the other hand had just fallen across his lap and was now snoring softly. The scene made Finn grin and he honestly found he couldn’t bring himself to wake the man up.

Instead, Finn waited until Poe was finally moving about and blinking awake. The blush that appeared on Poe’s face was totally worth the silent minutes of the morning Finn had sat through.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being a bit late with this one. Was out doing things other than writing fanfiction (imagine that) but here it finally is. Hope you enjoy! Next chapter out tomorrow:)

_Start Transmission: Millennium Falcon//System: Ileenium//Planet: D’Qar//From: Rey//To: Finn//_

_Finn_

_It is good to hear from you my friend. Chewbacca also says hello._

_As for replying to your last transmission, I think you would be shocked by the Millennium Falcon. Skywalker’s stubbornness has allowed me time to fix up the ship and though it is still a ‘heap of junk’, it at least doesn’t look like it’ll fall out of the sky._

_I will say that after this transmission I will not be able to reply as often. For one, a solar storm is heading in our direction which will cause trouble with transmissions. Other than that, I also believe that despite the difficulty ahead, I may be getting somewhere with Skywalker. As much as I would like to continue our conversations regularly, I have my duties to carry out._

_It appears that you do too. I am glad to hear you are working with the Resistance._

_But as far as your questions go in regards to your friend, it honestly depends. Trusting your gut instinct in such matters is important. If this friend has not confronted you it could mean they are being respectful of your space or have their uncertainties over the situation. The number one thing to remember is that there are different kinds of love. People care for each other in different ways and there are different types of relationships._

_If this friend is a true friend, I would confront them. Even if you don’t get a direct answer, you’ll at least be able to see why they haven’t been more direct with you._

_Try that and see how it goes. Tell me what occurs. I hope whatever happens it goes well._

_If what I’ve told you isn’t enough, I’m sorry. I’m not an expert in these matters. I hope I haven’t misguided you._

_As for joining the pilots of the X-wing crafts, part of me can’t help but be insanely jealous. I must get my hands on one of those! However, I do hope you stay safe. I realize how dangerous being an X-wing pilot is and I hope you remain careful. Hope the training is going well too._

_Your friend,_

_Rey_

_//End Transmission_

Finn leaned back and thought over Rey’s transmission. He decided not to reply back immediately, instead taking her advice. Or he might. Though Finn hadn’t thought of it before, he could speak to Caus-Lo on this matter as well. Since his final physical was soon anyways, Finn would see Caus-Lo afterwards and speak to him about what had been happening. Hopefully with Rey’s and Caus-Lo’s words he’d get a better idea of what he wanted to do.

Finished reading the transmission, he headed to the infirmary. Sadly Caus-Lo wasn’t there and instead Finn finished off with another examiner. However, as the examiner finished typing up the last report and Finn adjusted his jacket, he saw Caus-Lo walking into the infirmary. Quickly finishing up with the examiner, Finn sprinted over to where Caus-Lo was moving, his pace quick and purposeful.

“Whenever you have a moment I was wondering—”

“I have to go coordinate the catalogue with the equipment that’s to be shipped to a planet in the Inner Rim,” interrupted Caus-Lo. “Help me through this dull process and you can finish whatever thought you had.”

“Oh, uh…sure?”

“Terrific. Now, what were you saying?” asked Caus-Lo. He never broke pace.

“It’s just…well I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind talking about Poe.”

Caus-Lo gave a hint of mild interest but otherwise kept all other emotions hidden. “No, I wouldn’t. Now, we’re going to the Loading Bay over here. I’ll give you a list and you’re supposed to make sure that each crate contains the current amount and type of object.”

“Right, um…seems simple enough.”

“It should,” Caus-Lo said as he handed him a pad. “It’s as straightforward as can possible be for something so dull. So, what do you want to know?”

“Well…” pausing his train of thought, Finn concentrated on figuring out exactly what he was supposed to be doing. Once he got into a good rhythm he started talking again. “Well, Poe acts differently around me. He reacts to things differently, does things that clearly aren’t necessary. I’m right, right?”

“Hmm, I suppose.”

Finn frowned a bit. Caus-Lo’s reaction wasn’t exactly what he was hoping for but he didn’t let that stop him. “Well, when you act differently around someone it’s because you think of them differently. If you take better care of someone it’s because you care for them more, right? I guess what I’m asking is…well does Poe like me above others, in a more special way rather than general? Like love? Is that love?”

Caus-Lo seemed to finally cave and rolled his eyes. “I think what you’re getting at is that he fancies you.”

“What?”

“You know, when you fancy someone?”

“Is that term similar to liking someone?” asked Finn.

Caus-Lo seemed momentarily stunned but quickly recovered. A realization seemed to hit him and he replied, “I guess you’ve figured out a lot on your own so I don’t mind spelling the rest out. He’s head over heels for you and I’m pretty sure the condition won’t go away. It’s only gotten worse with time anyways.”

“Worse? Will he be alright?”

“What? No it’s-uh, god I suppose it makes sense why you wouldn’t have heard of-it’s a phrase Finn. It basically means he’s hopelessly in love with you.”

“So he does like me more than most,” Finn said.

Caus-Lo let out a disgruntled sigh. He could see Finn was getting there but he still didn’t quite get it. “Yes but not just liking you _like_ a friend. He loves you in a romantic way. He’s attracted to you.”

“Like magnets?”

“Alright, I can’t take! Pause what you’re doing and sit down!”

Finn was so shocked by the sudden outburst and the quick pace of words that he did just that.

Caus-Lo sat down as well, setting his work to the side, and clearly preparing himself for a talk. “Ok, I suppose I’m not surprised. The First Order doesn’t exactly teach love and peace, but this is going to take a moment if you really want to understand why Poe is such a dork. Are you willing to do that?”

“Of course,” Finn said. He couldn’t help but be a bit confused as to what was happening but he went with it anyways. If it got him answers then it was a plus either way.

“Now, to begin with there are different types of love. There is love of the species where you simply love something because it is living and important to the cycle of life. Poe loves just about everything he comes in contact with. He’s incredibly open and wants the best for everyone. It’s very difficult to get on Poe’s bad side permanently which should show you just how awful the First Order is.

“Then there’s love for those you are directly related to or that it feels like you are. That’s the kind of love Poe particularly has for me. Things I say and do he trusts above others because he thinks of me as family. If in all seriousness I told him jumping off a bridge could save the Resistance and stop the First Order he would. A stupid analogy, I know, but it just shows you the kind of trust he puts in me. That’s where that love stems from.

“You can also love someone through shared experiences. Now, though Poe and I have known each other for longer, there isn’t an experience between us that stands out, that particularly ties us to each other. However, you saved his life. If it wasn’t for you he wouldn’t have made it back here and it’s likely BB-8 would have been caught to. He will be forever grateful and forever love you for that action. You also helped him through an episode, something that he didn’t think possible. Those episodes stem from something he didn’t think anyone else could touch, could change. You did however and he loves you for that. He loves that you make him feel safe because of the experiences you have had.

“Next is love through flirting, playful affection. The touching, which I’m sure you’ve noticed, the fact that he gave you flowers, sits and draws you-yes he’s drawn you multiple times, don’t look that surprised-that all is him acting as if it were possible to be in a relationship with you. It’s a love that’s more physical than ones that I’ve previously stated.

“Still, the last one, romantic love is basically a combination of these things. He loves you romantically in that if Poe had the chance, he’d probably choose to live with you for the rest of his life and no one else. He wants to keep you safe but he likes that you make him feel safe. He loves the connection that you share, he loves your personality and fire, he loves the small touches and his ability to simply be close to you even if nothing more comes out of it.”

Caus-Lo finally stopped for a moment, allowing Finn to finally begin processing the information. Or at least that’s what Finn thought. However, Caus-Lo barreled forward.

“Got it? Good. Now, all these types of love can lead to different forms of relationships. Won’t go into the details on that cause there’s just to many different types but to basically let you see how Poe stands, he wants a relationship with you as an equal, he wants a relationship where you both trust each other, where you’re both understanding of each other, and he wants a physical relationship. From what I’ve seen, you’re both extremely compatible, you seem to fit perfectly together, the only thing that isn’t there is really the physical aspect and Poe is to much of a romantic to concentrate on that anyways.

“So that is all what I mean when I say Poe is head over heels for you. He adores you, would die for you, loves you in so many different ways and aspects, and if you didn’t recuperate any of those feelings he would be able to live with that as long as he simply got the chance to be near you, to be your friend,” Caus-Lo finally seemed to finish.

It seemed like forever as Finn took this in. He finally murmured, “Why hasn’t he said any of this sooner?”

“Because he doesn’t want to push you to far. He doesn’t want to push you away. He’s partially afraid of what would happen if he did, but at the same time he wanted to respect your space. Which was a good thing. You needed to get an idea of things for yourself. No point if someone force feeds you all the signs and their meanings.”

“But…” Finn trailed off. He tried to process all that he had just heard. For some time, he just stared off into space thinking it all through. When he did finally come back to the present, he realized that some time had passed and Caus-Lo had started working again. From the looks of it, he was almost done.

“It makes sense.”

Caus-Lo looked up from where he was working. “What?”

“Using everything that you told me, it makes sense. But uh…what should I do with the information?” questioned Finn.

“Depends.”

“On?”

“Whether you like how things are,” Caus-Lo replied. “Are you happy with how you stand with Poe? Don’t do anything. Want something to change? Figure out how you feel about him and then confront him because believe me, he won’t do it himself.”

“And if I can’t answer that honestly because I’ve never done something like this before?”

“Then decide which you’re willing to do: either risk never knowing, or take a chance and face the consequences,” Caus-Lo said. “Now out. Work’s finished and the men have to move these into a ship.”

As Caus-Lo finished up, Finn was pushed out and left with his thoughts. He had to decide what he wished to do, what was the best course of action, and it seemed that Caus-Lo wasn’t going to help him any further and Rey was lightyears away.

It wasn’t exactly an ideal situation.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So because the last chapter is an epilogue I'm going to be publishing that right after I publish this.
> 
> Thank you to everyone that has read this and supported this. I have loved reading your comments and seeing people leave kudos has helped push me to write every word of this. Thank you thank you thank you.
> 
> For those that may be curious, I am considering writing a sequel to this involving more Rey and possibly Poe's squadron. It's not a definite but it is in the works for anyone curious about that.
> 
> So for the last time, for now anyways, please enjoy :)

Finn waited until Poe had walked past him and was well into their room. He then got up and acted as if he was stretching. However, he was actually blocking the way to the door. Though when faced with it, he doubted Poe would freak and run but he still wanted to make sure.

Poe was rummaging in his closet when Finn finally decided the perfect way to phrase it. He’d done a lot of thinking since his talk with Caus-Lo. He was beginning to think he’d like to risk it.

“Would you kiss me if I asked?”

Poe stumbled, dropping the objects in his hands. He scrambled to grab them but they all hit the floor as BB-8 beeped happily.

“Uh, um just a-uh, what was that now?” asked Poe. He’d abandoned the fallen items and now his hands shifted from his side to leaning against the wall and back again as he tried to figure out what to do with his body. “Hmm?”

“Would you kiss me?” repeated Finn.

“Uh, I mean-no but-well, why um…why?” Poe asked weakly.

“Hey, if it’s to awkward, never mind.”

In a rather humorous, awkward manner, Poe replied, “What? No it wouldn’t- _no_. Just uh…curious. You know?”

“Just never been kissed by anyone,” which was the truth, “and was curious what it was like.”

Momentarily Poe’s awkward state was replaced with shock. “You’ve never kissed anyone?”

“You don’t have much time to when fighting Resistance scum,” Finn joked.

“I suppose not…alright.”

“Hmm?”

“If you want to kiss me you can. I don’t mind.”

“I can’t kiss you,” laughed Finn. “Didn’t you hear me? I’ve never kissed anyone before. You got to kiss me.”

Poe just stared for a moment and Finn became afraid that the guy would back out. However, he let out a sigh and nodded. “Fine, come on over then.”

As Finn took the one step needed to close the gap, Poe gripped the back of Finn’s head and pulled him forward, moving like he was afraid a moment of hesitation would cause him to stop. The kiss itself was over just as quickly yet Finn was able to gather two things from it. The first was that even though Poe had been the one to initiate it, he’d practically melted at the quick and chaste touch. Finn could feel him loosening like ice melting into water.

The second realization, however, was a fast deduction of whether Finn liked it simply for the action or if he liked it because it was Poe. Could he get this intimate with someone else? Did he even really want to get this intimate with someone else? Did he want to kiss Poe again because it was new and exciting or because he liked the roughness of Poe’s lips, his smile, the way he bit his bottom lip, his kindness, his utterly adorable nature when he talked about something he was passionate about—

Ok. Finn was pretty sure he had just answered that.

But was it to soon? Shouldn’t he have other experiences or at least wait until he had a better understanding of the situation? Finn decided no, he didn’t need that. He’d known he was connected to Poe from the day he helped him to escape the First Order. Besides, for all he knew his life could be cut short the next day. The base could be bombed and they could both be gone. He wasn’t going to waste the rest of his life with what ifs and maybes.

Besides, something inside Finn told him this was right.

So Finn decided that yes, he wanted to kiss Poe, that he loved Poe, that he cared about Poe as deeply as the man cared about him. He was almost brave enough to start a second kiss but before he could Poe was already collecting himself, although rather poorly, and somehow managed to make it out of the room despite the fact that Finn had been blocking the way.

Rather astounded by all this, Finn looked down at BB-8 who appeared rather confused too.

Finn sighed and rolled his eyes. “He probably doesn’t even realize I was about to kiss him. Probably thinks that he has to get himself under control or something, like it will all come crashing down.”

BB-8 beeped.

“So you agree with me?”

The droid made another noise.

“That a yes?”

It repeated the noise.

“I’m gonna hope it was,” sighed Finn. “Now, what to do…”

Letting out a number of interesting sounds, BB-8 responded in great detail. Sadly, Finn didn’t really understand it but by now he had learned to depict the intent of the beeps. He was also pretty sure he knew what the first few noises were in response to.

“You knew…didn’t you.”

BB-8 beeped in the presumed yes fashion.

“You should have-well I guess I wouldn’t have understood you but you still should’ve tried to tell me,” sighed Finn. Even as he said it though, he thought of all the times BB-8 had caused Poe to blush in certain situations. Perhaps the droid had been trying all along. Letting out another disgruntled sigh, Finn muttered, “Alright, Poe is probably going to try and find something to busy himself with while convincing himself that he needs to get things under control.”

The droid agreed.

“If I just try to talk to him he may avoid it or he may think it’s not real. We need something that can make it as obvious as possible,” Finn said.

BB-8 beeped a suggestion.

“You know, I swear I understood you just now,” grinned Finn. “I think I know exactly what you’re thinking.”

BB-8 beeped happily.

“Come on. We better go find him before he runs off to his X-wing.”

Giving a little nod, the droid quickly led the way and Finn swiftly followed behind. It didn’t take that long as only a few places actually drew Poe when he needed to be in deep thought. BB-8 and Finn ended up finding the guy on the way to the X-wings. He’d been stopped by someone however and was in the middle of a conversation.

It was clear from his jittery hands that he was aching to get into the ship.

When it seemed that their conversation was done, Finn finally made himself known and BB-8 let off a helpfully loud noise. Giving a respectful nod and hello to the other man, Finn quickly focused his attention on Poe. The guy couldn’t just run right now. It would be to strange and would only cause stares. Besides, Poe probably had the exact opposite expectations as to what Finn was about to do.

“Getting ready to go flying?” asked Finn.

“Uh…well as a matter of fact—”

“Have fun but don’t stay up to long,” Finn interrupted before he could get nervous himself. Didn’t matter if he was sure of the situation and what he wanted, hell, he still hadn’t done this before! “Just make sure you’re back in time for dinner and I’ll see you in the mess hall.”

With that, Finn mimicked Poe’s kiss from before minus pulling the other man towards him. Instead, he fully leaned in, gave him the peck, and then started to walk off like it was the most normal thing in the world.

On the way over, Finn had thought about the different scenarios that could happen with this. Now he just had to wait and see which one played out…

“Wait-wh-Finn-hold on!”

Finn paused and turned around and he couldn’t help the amused smile on his face as Poe rushed up to him. However, instead of skidding to a stop, BB-8 expertly tripped him up and he rather ceremoniously fell into Finn’s arms.

Finn smiled. “Thanks BB-8. Good idea.”

The droid beeped happily as Poe turned as red as his skin color would allow.

“This um-this-well…maybe I should uh-should you know stand-stand up?” Poe finally managed.

“I don’t know. Seeing as this is the first time you were ever in my arms, I have to say I quite like it,” Finn smiled.

“Wait you-but I just thought—”

“I really appreciate that you backed off Poe, that you didn’t push anything on me. You were just my friend and being my first friend, what you’ve done for me I will never be able to forget. However, as much as I cherish you as a friend, kissing you was really nice and I’d definitely like to do it again,” Finn said. “And maybe I’m wrong but from what I know, friends don’t kiss each other repeatedly and rather romantically fall into each other’s arms.”

“BB-8 tripped me. Hardly romantic,” Poe responded. There was still a slight hint of stumbling over his words though showing he was still nervous and unsure. “But I just thought-I didn’t think-well are you sure?”

“Never been surer of something in my entire life,” countered Finn, his voice completely sincere and ringing true. “And no way am I just going to let opportunities slip me by because other options are considered safer. Besides, I am starting to realize just how beautiful your lips are. I’m surprised I didn’t notice sooner.”

Poe blushed even more and once again, Finn couldn’t help but feel pleased at seeing how he could enact such a reaction from the man. “You’re…” Poe took a moment. “You’re serious.”

“A hundred percent.”

“Then you kissed me because…you simply—”

“Wanted to? Yeah. That and I figured it would be a pretty good way to get my personal standing across.”

“Well,” Poe replied as he finally seemed to find his feet, “it god damn worked.”

“Still planning on going flying?”

“Not now—”

“I think it’s a great idea,” interrupted Finn. “Particularly because there’s a certain lake that we could go to that doesn’t have this many eyes.”

“Right…”

Poe finally managed to stand and Finn let go, looking rather pleased with himself. Slowly, they moved away from the prying eyes and towards the ships.

“So you…how long have you known?” questioned Poe.

“Hard to say. Consciously, pretty recently. Caus-Lo really helped with that. Subconsciously? Who knows,” Finn replied.

“This…you are serious about this.” It was more of a bewildered statement than a question but Finn answered it anyways.

“All the way.”

By this point they were with the ships and out of the way of most prying eyes. This was probably a good thing as Poe practically jumped him then and there, wrapping his arms around Finn and burrowing his face in Finn’s chest.

“I’m never letting go of you.” Suddenly Poe’s face popped up. “If that’s alright with you of course.”

Finn laughed. “May be a bit difficult to move about but I don’t mind.”

And finally, there it was. Poe’s lips formed into a bright grin, possibly the happiest and kindest one that Finn had seen so far, which was impressive in and of itself. The pure joy that Finn was seeing made him want to kiss Poe again but finally it seemed like the other beat him to it. Gone with the nerves and caution and uncertainty, Poe pushed forward with every intent of keep them like that for as long as possible.

God this was better than just a peck.


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks and enjoy :)

_Start Transmission: Planet: D’Qar//System: Ileenium//Millennium Falcon //From: Finn//To: Rey_

_Rey,_

_I took your advice. Or at least somewhat. Obviously other factors came into play but_

_Okay I’m just going to stop there and simply say that this is probably not what the Resistance intended for when setting up encryptions and communications and everything but god damn you are far off doing Force shit and I think you’d like to know it worked out!_

_His name is Poe. I don’t know if you remember him at all. You met him briefly when we were planning on how to destroy the Starkiller. He’s the best pilot in the Resistance though and he’s who’s been teaching me how to fly._

_And just about everyone knows that we’re together which is really great cause it’s open and amazing and something I’ve never experienced before. And really, it’s almost like nothing even changed because apparently most everyone thought we were together anyways_

_And I forgot to tell you about this lake that’s near the main base and so peaceful and relaxing and utterly beautiful and it’s amazing just being there with Poe (and BB-8  cause you don’t want that droid getting jealous) and you should totally ask Skywalker about it cause apparently he actually meditated there_

_Oh! Speaking of flying you’re going to be extremely jealous cause I finally got to fly an X-wing today! All by myself! It was amazing. If you can, fly one. It’s totally worth it._

_But yeah, I never got a chance to tell you who Poe was. He was the reason I was able to get away from the First Order. He keeps saying it was me saving him but he saved me. Though of course we crash landed which wasn’t exactly great and I did think he was dead for the longest time and he thought I was dead too but we finally met again, obviously, and it was perfect. And he’s really kind and sweet and is an excellent drawer and collects pressed flowers and he sewed up my jacket for me so I’m still wearing that and I recently found out he sings too_

_And he’s just an overall kind person but super sarcastic and dorky and wonderful_

_And I’m probably really rambling and I should totally cut out a lot of this but I’m writing this really quickly cause I don’t have much time and I want to get this out to you now without forgetting any of this_

_And I’m going flying again in just a few minutes so wish me luck on that._

_But I hope you’re alright and you’re getting somewhere with Skywalker cause I know you have way more problems with him and training or figuring out exactly what to do and all that but even if this seems really silly maybe it’ll at least take a load off your mind and I’ll get you to laugh_

_Which speaking of which Poe has a great laugh and man does he make me smile and laugh_

_Oh and Poe says hi! He’s looking forward to meeting you and he knows you’re a pilot and I told him about how we got off Jakku and he was extremely impressed and of course immediately said he wanted to race you because why wouldn’t he and or course he asked all sorts of things about how you fly which I of course couldn’t answer and he’s just more excited about meeting you particularly since you’re a friend of mine and with all you’ve done_

_Though secretly he’s also hoping you can convince Skywalker to come back to the Resistance cause hell he is a fan of Skywalker’s! Apparently he was an amazing X-wing pilot before being a proper Jedi Knight_

_But everything is going well and Poe is amazing_

_I think I covered everything. There’s probably only so many times I can say Poe is amazing before you probably flew all the way back here just to knock me up side the head._

_So yeah, really wanted to get this out and tell you and god it’s been forever since I’ve seen you and yeah._

_Stay safe._

_Your friend,_

_Finn_

_//End Transmission_


End file.
